Watch 43

Just as mankind believed the Mariana Trench was the deepest part of the ocean, I too believed that I had found rock-bottom in regards to watching The Meg. But what I thought was the bottom was actually a thin layer of liquid hydrogen-sulfide, revealing hidden depths beneath.

• Morris brought multiple hats and pairs of shoes on this trip, despite the fact that he only carried one backpack off the helicopter. Did he bring anything else with him??
• Wait a minute… Wait A Minute. Wait A Minute!!!
• Lori’s full-name is “Lori Taylor” (Same last name as Jason Statham’s character)!
• So here’s two important question:
  Who took whose name?
  And why didn’t one of them get it changed after the divorce?
• Unless… What if in the original script for The Meg, Lori and Statham were supposed to be siblings? The only time their marriage was referenced was an off-screen line from Zhang (easily changed in post-production) and Mac mentioning it to Suyin (also a scene that could have been easily shot and added after filming began).
• Besides, “How about you just try something new. So the rest of your life isn’t a vast wasteland of misery and solitude” sounds like a sibling-dig if I’ve ever heard one.
• This cast is pretty equally balanced between “People Who Wear Glasses” and “People Who Don’t Wear Glasses.”
• I forgot to count the speargun and goggles that Statham chucks in the water on my Financial Mismanagement Watch. But considering he was being chased by a shark at the time, we’ll give him a pass.
• Besides, I’m pretty sure googling the cost of a speargun would put me on some kind of watchlist.
• It’s Watch 43 and I still have no idea what DJ meant when he said “Aw yeah, jellyfish!”

Rating: This is Possibly the Worst Moment of My Life

Date: May 16, 2020