This movie offers some entertaining “which character would you be” scenarios:
- You’re stranded in a mini-sub on the bottom of the ocean. Do you:
- Write a letter to your wife because you’re the only POC on this ship so you know your ass is toast.
- Start yanking wires until the ship regains power because you refuse to die until at least half-way through the movie.
- Accidentally impale yourself on a screwdriver.
- Your team of scientists are trapped at the bottom of the ocean. Do you:
- Weigh the pros and cons of all rescue options until you decide to handle it yourself.
- Remain silent because this is way beyond your pay-grade.
- Outsource your problems and helicopter-in an alcoholic.
- An even bigger shark just destroyed your boat. How do you deal with this new curve-ball life has thrown your way?:
- Use this time to phone for rescue (something you really should have done a lot sooner).
- Swim for the escape boat and save yourself. However everyone saw you do it so you’re going to have to pretend like saving everyone was always part of your plan.
- Blame Jason Statham.
- You’re trying to set up your recently single friend with Jason Statham. Do you:
- Tell your friend about his own failed marriage so it levels the playing field a little.
- Try to convince Statham (your ex-husband) that the megalodon might be huge but life is short and you gotta give love a chance one of these days.
- Just straight up ask Statham to be your dad.
Rating: Just Keep Swimming
Date: April 22, 2020